Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Luke-Warm Shoulder

          As I transition from college to grad school and the work force, rejection plays an ever-increasing role in my life. I’ve gotten rejected from grad-school, rejected from internships, and rejected by classes. I’m even going to dinner later to ask out a girl I already know has a boyfriend. That’s like begging for rejection. Certainly everyone deals with rejection at some point, but my past few months have certainly been a bit over-saturated.
          I used to be horrified of being told I wasn’t good enough. I still am about certain parts of my life. I’ve actually gotten a lot better. I’ve grown quite comfortable making a fool of myself in most situations. Whether it’s singing Genie in a Bottle at karaoke night or bumping into a wall in front of people so hard that I fall down, I do a much better job of letting the little things go.

          I was lucky enough to be validated for my artwork at a very young age. My middle and high school art teachers submitted my work to a nation-wide competition that ended up giving me a dose of external validation. To this day, however, I am a bit self-conscious because I do not have much external validation for my writing. In fact I was so scared of being told my writing wasn’t good enough that I didn’t even apply to pursue a degree in fiction for grad school, though it was what I really wanted at the time.
         Now that the decision is behind me, I’ve learned a lot from that particular fear. As the cliché goes, life really is just too short. Whether it’s applications or girls, it’s best to tackle the situation regardless of the outcome than to be passive and let the situation tackle you. Better to strive for happiness and fail than sit and hope it just happens. That’s why I’m adopting a new life policy. For every cold-shoulder life throws my way, I’m going to make it luke-warm. I got denied from some schools but I ended up at wonderful, and likely more enriching, institution. I got denied from internships, but it only fuels me to try harder. And the girl? Well that’s just a hopeless situation from the start, but I’ll make a fool of myself, anyway.
         Here's to life's luke-warm shoulders.

2 comments: